Wrong Move

Jeff, ya screwed up!!! You should have taken Michelle and Russell to the final four. Then Rus/Mich and Jord/Jeff could have battled it out for the final two. Now with Russell gone and Natalie and Kevin in power I am sure they will backstab Jeff the moment they have an opportunity. I think Jeff just secured his spot in the jury house. Jeff is going to feel like an idiot when he finds out Nat and Kev made up the entire Russell backstabbing story.. Sigh...I have nothing else to say..

Blonde Moment

I made a faux pas and I am choosing to embrace it and share it with the world instead of pretending I didn't do it. So it turns out that the show Deadliest Catch takes place in the Bering Sea and not the barren sea. Hey, I never claimed to have a Ph.D ok.

I thought Mike Rowe was saying barren sea all those times. Ya know.. like the vast, open, dangerous, BARREN waters. I just never understood why he chose to use the word barren so much and now it is all clear to me. I still blame Mike Rowe, he should really learn how to enunciate.

Telenovela: A limited-run television show popular in Latin America

Celia pretending to be Nancy Botwin. I love it! From the long dark hair to the trashy outfit and dazed look on her face, Celia pegged Nancy to a T and gave me a genius idea. I will be Nancy Botwin for Halloween. Not one of my favorite holidays because I am no longer of trick or treating age I haven't dressed up since I was 10. This may be the year that all changes. All I need is dark hair, an iced coffee with extra long straw and a glassy look on my face. Come to think of it, that "costume" isn't far off from my everyday appearance. I may have to brush up on my drug lingo though. Google Search Activated: Weed, pot, marijuanna, dope, grass, mary jane, ganja, cannabis, skunk, hash etc.. Who knew there were so many words for weed! Maybe I will just carry dime bags filled with parsly as part of my costume. That is probably safer.

In this episode, Nancy searches for Esteban in what looks like a DMV office as Andy continues to berate her for screwing up everyone's life. Geez Andy we get the point! You weren't Mr. Responsibility either. Maybe you should have spoken up before the kids went rogue and Nancy married the most dangerous man in Mexico.

As for the kids, I am not thrilled that Silas' Latina step-sister keeps making him feel like a loser. Look in the mirror Silas! You are a smokin' hot, tan, toned, beach babe, take your shirt off and show her what a man you are! Oh right they are step bro and sis, I guess that wouldn't be proper. Well, just take your shirt off for no good reason then. As for Shane, he uses the skills he picked up in summer school to scare two guys who are attempting to seduce his new step-sister. By summer school I mean the Mexican thugs he has been hanging out with, by scare I mean threaten to slit their throats and by seduce I mean rape. This event leads Silas to proclaim, "you are one bad ass mother f*cker." Yeah..that about sums it up..

The episode ends with Esteban being freed from jail and somehow on television with Pilar. It seems he is now on her side and running for office again. I wish I could tell you what was actually said but once again the entire scene is in Spanish. What is this, a novela? Put some damn subtitles!

I want my 16 minutes..

This weeks episode of True Blood was only 44 minutes long and I am pissed off about it. Isn't the point of putting a show on cable so we can beat the censors and avoid all time reserved for commercials. I don't care if they showed Eric combing his hair and Bill pacing the room, I want my 16 minutes back. Don't get me wrong, the 44 minutes they did show are etched in my brain and will remain there until next Sunday's episode but with only two episodes to go I want as much TB as I can get.

In what was another dream sequence between Eric and Sookie she comforts him as blood stained tears streak his face. Is is wrong that when I see Eric and Sookie together I am on Team Eric and when I see Sookie and Bill together I switch to Team Bill? I know, I know, I'm sucha whore, sue me.

Unfortunately we did not see Eric for the rest of the episode but we did get to see yet another orgy scene. As thrilling as it is to see a woman gain some knowledge rather then give it for a change, I am so over it. Over IT! Knowledge..brains..h-e-a-? I would like to thank a very wise person for teaching me that lovely euphemism, you know who you are.

Sookie, Jason and Bill return from Dallas to find that Maryann and her followers have wreaked havoc in Bon Temps. Sookie's powers seem to affect Maryann but I am not exactly sure how. Maybe Sookie is the key to taking Maryann down once and for all. I am baffled as to why some people fall for Maryann's spell and others do not. My guess is that Sookie, Bill, Sam, etc. can't be put under a spell because they have powers and Andy, Lafayette and Tara's mother can't because they are/were addicts and already reached heights of hedonism. That doesn't explain how Jason deflected the trance so if anyone has a hypothesis on that I am open to suggestions.

In just one of the many F-bombs that were dropped during the episode Lafayette exclaims "This has got to be the worst motherf---ing intervention in history” as he and Lettie Mae try to release Tara of her trance. The laughter didn't stop there as Jason and Andy play God convincing the town that Jason is the one they have been waiting for with a gas mask, flares and a horn made out of twigs. I guess the two known for being dumb proved that two dumbs do make a right when they save Sam's behind, which we got a really nice view of in the closing scene. Team Sam too?

Calm before the MADness

This Season of Mad Men is off to a rocky start. The first episode had me intrigued but was underwhelming while the second episode felt disjointed and the commercial placement was horrid.

Despite all that, the show is still beautiful to watch. I love the costumes and the attention to historic details is amazing, yet if I had just tuned in without seeing Season 1 or 2 I would be wondering what the fuss is all about.

The pace is slower than usual and I can not stand the London firm that has taken over Sterling Cooper. "I did my job, and now you're telling me it was all for nothing because you forgot to check with your boss first?" — Don Draper couldn't have said it any better. Perhaps this is the calm before the proverbial storm of the 60's as the camera flashes to Roger's daughters wedding date and we see that it is the day after John F. Kennedy's assassination.

I really need to brush up on my knowledge of historical facts because for the first time I am watching a TV Drama that intertwines the storyline with real events. I often feel like I am not catching all the details that they are putting out there.

We see the relationship between Betty and Don transform as she no longer bites her tongue when something makes her mad. I couldn't help but laugh when Don asked her to tell him what was wrong then and there instead of 3 seconds after he dosed off. Don't all women do that!? Finally we see Don taking charge of the family when it becomes obvious that Betty's dad is in need of help. I liked seeing Don play the take charge role at home, same as he does in the office. He obviously wants to see Betty happy and this is a small step in the right direction

After Don, my favorite character would have to be Peggy. Peggy is not the typical 1960's woman and this becomes more apparent with each episode. Last season Peggy moved from Secretary to Accounts. Now we see her growing more brazen, taking bits and pieces of people she looks up to and figuring out the type of person she wants to be. This is evident when she mimics Don at work, Ann-Margaret in the mirror and Joan in the bar when she picks up a man and goes home with him. Not one to make the same mistake twice she boldly asks if he has a Trojan. Sex, alcohol and cigarettes all wonderful outlets to pleasure that in the 1960's are blind to consequences. I am eager to see how the changes in the world come to play in future episodes.

Ooozing Love

There is nothing I love more than a couple that is obviously head over heels for each other and isn't afraid to show it. Jon Hamm & Jennifer Westfeldt are waiting in what looks to be an airport when these lovely shots were taken.

Matters of the tv..

There is a thin line between compromising and sacrificing when it comes to relationships. You often have to choose between giving into something you really have no desire to do or putting a foot down and forcing your partner to suffer on your behalf. Often these topics revolve around religion, money, even what temperature to leave the thermostat on. All of these things can cause contention and resentment in a relationship.

In my house, we often bicker over something much more important then all of that. The battle lies in who has control over the living room television. It is not just the remote but the entire TV. You can either enjoy the bounty of a wonderful LCD television in high def or be sequestered to the master bedroom where you squint to see the picture 15 feet away from you. Inevitably falling asleep because you are after all laying in the bed at one in the afternoon.

In the past I would walk through the living room on the way to my sequestered quarters wondering why my boyfriend is watching the same infomercial yet again. I later found out that it wasn't an infomercial but a show called Ship Shape. How low budget is this show? I thought the guy was selling boat cleaner. Why is he watching this? We don't own a boat..we rarely go on boats..As I pass by, I tend to shout "not this guy again"!! as I walk to the bedroom, nap time yet again...

On occasion I can be convinced to watch a show I would never willingly put on. A great example of this is Dirty Jobs. If you have never caught the show, the host Mike Rowe, an extremely rugged, handsome man (you know I needed some eye candy to make this worthwhile) attempts a day in the life of people who do the dirtiest jobs around. Cleaning porto-potties, scraping rust off of bridges, inspecting sewers and working on pig farms are just some of the crazy tasks he sets out to try. I give Mike Rowe a lot of credit for embracing such horrid jobs and even more kudos to the people who actually do it on a daily basis. When I have a particularly stressful day at work I often think about the bullshit I encounter and it's nice to know at least I am not cleaning the actual thing.

Men would like us to believe that they don't watch reality television. What they seem to forget is that although they are not watching American Idol, Dancing with the Stars or The Bachelorette, they are watching their own version of reality TV when they put on Deadliest Catch, Ice Road Truckers and Survivorman.

On Deadliest Catch we watch groups of men venture into the barren sea to catch King and Snow Crab hoping to bring home the big bucks. They often face 50 foot waves, hauling and lifting pots, on very little sleep. On a particularly rainy day I was roped into a Deadliest Catch marathon and although no one got a rose at the end, it was highly entertaining. You can't help but love the men on the show and get involved in the personal stories of each of them. I now have vast knowledge of crab and a huge fear of the barren sea. Who wouldn't be scared of the ocean after hearing the words barren sea 62 times?

I would rather watch my television shows solo. If I watch The Bachelorette or True Blood in the company of others I am not allowed to mutter how hot a particular male character is or shout at the TV when someone does something I would deem foolish. In front of others these actions would look bizarre. When I am alone the only person witnessing this madness is the ceramic cat that I have in the corner and he isn't telling anyone.

In a recent bonding experience with my boyfriend I sat to watch a few episodes of Man vs. Food and Man vs. Wild. First off, what is with the titles of these programs? Is every show a pissing contest? I am going to produce a show and call it Man vs. Penis. Something tells me this is the first time the man wouldn't win. Man vs.Food is a show I can embrace. I love men. I love food. How can it go wrong? It did go very wrong when I watched the host eat tons of hot chili peppers in record breaking time. Why would someone willingly participate in such an act? I asked my boyfriend this very question and he responded that a man won't turn down a dare. Oh really?... I dared him to buy me a new outfit, the shopping bags have yet to arrive... The coolest part of the show is seeing all the different food concoctions that would never cross my mind.

This blog would not be complete without mentioning a situation that recently occurred while watching Man vs Wild. I didn't mind watching this show because I thought we would benefit from learning what to do if a disaster was to occur. I even got my boyfriend a flint stick that would help start a fire in the event of an emergency. After he practiced setting some plastic cups ablaze it now sits on top of his dresser. Lots of good it will do sitting there and I am going to
be royally pissed if we encounter a need for fire and that flint stick is no where to be found.

In a recent Man vs. Wild scene, the host Bear Grylls tackles a pig. Sensing his end is near the pig starts squealing in agony and I started sobbing that the poor pig was killed for no reason. Bear wasn't actually starving for food so killing the pig was completely unnecessary. I could not stop hearing the echo of squealing in my brain. As my boyfriend stroked my hand telling me that the pig did not suffer the fact was not lost that only two hours prior, I had requested more bacon on my hamburger during dinner.

One thing I have learned from watching all this television whether it is by choice or by force, is that female geared shows tend to focus on love while male versions focus on surviving the work day and bringing home the um...bacon. That in itself speaks volumes on what is important to men vs. women.

Keep your eyes open

Are celebs walking past me everyday and I am just not paying attention? As I peruse celeb gossip sites I always see pictures of random celebs strolling the streets of NYC and occasionally even biking around with no entourage at all. Leo Dicaprio, Gerard Butler, Chris Pine and Jon Hamm are just a few of the hotties that are always captured doing exactly that. I may be inclined to stop every bike rider that passes me just to make sure I am not missing out on a celebrity siting.

Hanging by a thread

I am convinced I should try out for Season 12 of Big Brother. After 11 years of studying the art of being the perfect house guest I think I would kick some major butt.

My personality is perfect for forming strong alliances and I have no problem lying, cheating and schmoozing if it means $500,000 is waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.

I think my only down fall would be the endurance competitions. I almost collapsed yesterday while carrying groceries and juggling my coffee in the other hand from the car to the house. How good would I be at swinging on a rope for 3 hours while ice cold rain sprays downs on me I really don't know. I may have to take up meditiation and practice outter body experiences to get through such challenges.

If only I could take off of work for 3 months. Anyone want to volunteer and cover my work load while I go into a house and deal with insanity and stupidity? Wait a minute, that is not very different than an average work day. I told you I would be perfect for the BB household. Maybe this is what I have been training for my entire life..

As for the actual BB house Jeff and Jordan are knocking back competition after competition and keeping the power in their hands. The downfall lies in the fact that they have believed a lie Kevin told them and now it looks like they will be back dooring Russell and keeping Natalie around. No. No. No. Do NOT fall for it. Natalie is bad news. If she makes it to the final two the evicted houseguests will surely vote for her to win. I pray Jeff and Jordan find out about Kevin's lie before it is too late!

Weed Wants

I think it is quite obvious that I am by no means a prude especially when it comes to discussing sex or raunch on television. The most important thing for me is that the aforementioned sex scene enhances the level of the relationship we are watching or brings us a better understanding of the storyline. Passion, heat, love, or even straight naughtiness, well that gets the viewers talking and therefore ratings (among other things) sky rocket.

One thing I hate is when writers throw in an illicit scene that isn't funny or entertaining but is for shock value and downright unnecessary. This brings me to the latest episode of Weeds. Celia and her cosmetics selling mentor engage in a hardcore touchy feely, below the belt romp in a public cafe during broad daylight. All I can ask is why? The sound effects didn't help the scene and all it did was make me roll my eyes. So now Celia will be a lesbian cause some woman made her feel up her skirt? I think the writers are grasping and it only proves that this show is not what it used to be. I'd rather see no back story then this ridiculousness.

I am still finding some interest in the Nancy/Esteban debacle but I imagine the show is winding down as the rumor mill tells me there will not be another Season. We last see Esteban being arrested for some illegal shenanigans. How will it all end? Well I have two theories that I am eager to share with the world.

Theory #1: Esteban is killed and as his current wife Nancy ends up taking over the Mexican drug cartel. Once a suburban house wife selling weed on the street and now full circle she will be the most powerful drug lord in all of Mexico.

My second theory is more what I envision happening but I think fans might have a major issue if this is how it all plays out. Picture it, Sicily 1953...oops I mean..

Theory #2: Nancy gets a call that her husband is at the hospital. We assume that Esteban has been shot and when she gets to the hospital we find out that it is not Esteban but Judah who is there. The entire past 5 seasons have been a vision that Judah has had while he suffers his heart attack. Imaging what will happen to his family if he died. As he codes, Nancy is surrounded by Celia, Silas, Andy... she asks "what will we do if he doesn't make it?" Fade to black... I know tons of people would be pissed if the entire series was a dream and I don't want to pull a "Dallas" but I think it would be fantastic if after all this, none if it actually happened.

Michi goes Mad

TV is NOT the devil

Miami Social
This show has been on the blogging back burner for some time. I watched faithfully each week but have failed to really comment since the first episode. The crew grew on me even with their dysfunctional and sometimes materialistic ways. The finale last night had the best montage of an ending I have seen in a long time. Will Hardy finally commit to Trixie? (I hope so!) Did Katrina make the right move in signing the divorce papers from Ben? (I vote no!) and will George and Lina be over for good (G-d only knows!?) I really hope there will be a second season because it will be really disappointing to never know how it all ends.

Jon, Kate & The Hate
Jon is on my "list" and trust me that is not a place you want to be. Claiming he didn't want to continue his TLC show because of all the attention was blatantly a lie as he has been seen all over town with 22 year old Hailey Glassman. In her first television interview she claims that they are in madly in love. Word to Haily: Jon is in love with something and it isn't your witty personality.

The latest rumor is that Jon will be starring in his own reality show about being a divorced dad. If any network picks up this crap I promise to ban it from my television set. It is quite obvious why Kate had to play mommy to her husband because he clearly thinks hes 17 all over again. Kate has never looked better and then their is Jon who looks like that skeevy older guy you see sitting at the end of the bar surrounded by 22 year olds. Perfect, that is his girlfriends age after all.

Nurse Jackie
The jig is up when Eddie follows Jackie home and see her kissing her husband. I knew this double life couldn't last forever. I can't even imagine what revenge Eddie will take on Jackie when he learns how he has been used and abused. Really looking forward to the finale and super happy it has been renewed for another Season.

Drop Dead Diva
Possibly one of the best new shows on television. I can not get enough of the quirky Jane/Deb character and I am dying to know if Grayson will find out who she really is. I can't imagine walking up to the boyfriend who thinks your dead and saying hey it's me just in a different body. Can Grayson fall for Jane/Deb as the new her? I really hope so.

HawthoRNe
Shame on me for not posting about this show. It really deserves it's own blog but for the moment I will say if you are not watching this show you are missing out. I have never really known Jada Pinkett Smith as anything other than Will Smith's wife but at the recommendation of a co-worker I watched the first episode in a rerun. I was hooked from moment one. Nurse Christina Hawthorne kicks ass! This show is very different then Nurse Jackie. It is more of a nurse based drama then a twisted sordid nurse's story. We are still learning who Christina really is after the death of her husband while juggling her career and unruly teenage daughter. The bubbling romance between her and Dr Tom Wakefield played by Michael Vartan has many dimensions and the rest of the cast is virtually unknown actors who have been cast so well you are on their side from moment one. Two thumbs up!

Chima the Diva

Wow! My head is still reeling from last night's episode of Big Brother. I must have gotten lost and made a turn at the whack shack (Prison Break lingo) because Chima and Lydia have lost their damn minds.

Obviously forgetting that this is a game and not a who loved Jesse more competition they both run rampant in the house. Chima disobeys all the rules even throwing her microphone into the pool and refusing to enter the Diary Room when the producers call her. She is later kicked out of the house because of her unruly behavior. Ding Dong, the witch is dead.

I can't say I am sad to see her go. She has not done one useful thing in this game and the ridiculous part is she had ample time to try and win the next competition and change the game. Any true BB fan knows that the game can change after every competition and allies change on a daily basis. She would have been wise to keep her cool and try to win the POV.

Lydia is just as bad. Screaming and running around the house like a bipolar lunatic. I don't even know how the house was putting up with her and at this point I would have had the Producers step in. Even Natalie and Kevin can see that she has lost her marbles. Lydia went as far as calling Jordan a ho and Jeff wasn't standing for that.

Once again Jeff is making my heart go pitter patter as it comes down to him and Jordan winning HOH. He lightly pats her butt and cheers her on, then asks if she wants HOH or not. Throwing the competition so she can get a letter from her mom had me giggling with pleasure. They are so cute together. Between the lunacy and the showmance this went from one of the most boring BB seasons to the craziest over night. I guess I should have known in Big Brother it is always best to expect the unexpected.

More TB Dish

Alexander Skarsgard
There is hope for the single (and maybe the not so single) girls who have the hots for Eric on True Blood. Check out his latest interview:

On his character Eric not being all bite: “You think Eric might not have a sensitive side, but he does.”

On wanting to become a dad: “I’m single. I grew up in a platoon of people. I don’t have a family, but it is something I really want.

Goodbye Godrick, Hello Eric

My television exploded with the sheer force of sizzling heat that flowed from it during the Sookie/Eric dream sequence on this weeks episode of True Blood. OK, maybe I am full of crap and the television didn't actually shatter but for g-ds sake it may as well have. Eric's long, lean, tanned body, pressed up against Sookie's equally sexy, petite frame was almost too hot to handle. Someone get me a cigarette, stat!

Prior to this incredibly sensual dream sequence the episode was already off to an explosive start then all the blood drained from my brain and I had to rewind three times to focus on the words that were coming out of Eric's mouth. He said something about this only being the beginning..my eyes drift to his long, bare back..Only the beginning..forshadowing that perhaps Eric and Sookie will eventually become more as Eric smiles and slowly slides on top of Sookie..Only the beginning... What is he saying?! I am going to have to get a transcript of the episode I can't freaking concentrate! I mean really, can anyone tell me what was said in the scene? I bet you can describe Eric's tattoo though right? Fooled ya! There was no tattoo but I can guarantee you were just thinking, wait, what tattoo? I didn't see a tattoo anywhere and your eyes were scanning, trust me.

Now before this spirals into an entry for Penthouse forums let me say that this may have been my favorite episode of True Blood in a very long time. There I said it. Finally. It rocked! It rocked so hard core I can't stop thinking about the episode and Eric's hot bod was just really a fraction of what I enjoyed so much.

At the Vampire House, the Holy Roller sacrifices his life to blow up the Vampire lair. Shrapnel flying everywhere, Eric gets doused in bits of silver and Sookie has to get it out with her teeth. Why couldn't she use her hands? I have no idea either. But a chance to suck on Eric's chest? Alrighty then, sign me up too. With a wicked wink to the camera, little did we know that he and Sookie's emotions are now connected. A part of me wishes that the explosion would have taken
place last week during the Vampire/Holy Light showdown. The showdown and the explosion felt very separate and almost anti-climactic in what should have been a monumental moment for the Vampires and the Humans. Showing that the Vampires are more civil then the Human extremists as many lives are lost in the explosion.

Upon learning that Eric and Sookie would now be connected because she had drank his blood I can't help but ponder some of the Vampire rules we have learned:
1. Vampires do not turn into bats or fly around, but they can run really fast.
2. Vampires can not touch silver.
3. Vampires can not go out into daylight and the sun will set them on fire.
4. Vampires can see their image in a mirror. (well at least these Vampires can, contrary to popular Vampire pop culture)
5. Vampires can heal themselves (and others) even to the point of virginity being renewed.
6. Vampires cry blood not tears.
7. Vampires can turn or kill a human depending on how much blood they suck.

Can I be at the round table for the discussion on what constitutes a Vampire rule please? I give major kudos to the writers who fashioned these laws because somehow it all comes together and makes sense.

In other back stories, I was cheering when Sam turned into a fly. The minute I saw the fly, I was praying he would shape shift himself out of there! It is up to Sam to kill Maryann because I can't take her psycho ways any longer. Tara and Eggs have lost their minds and I am so glad Lafayette kicked some Eggs Benedict butt and got Tara out of there. I em enjoying the innocence of the story between Hoyt and Jessica but I can only imagine there situation is too good to be true and I could picture her Vampy ways coming out and unintentionally hurting Hoyt.

Sookie and Jason have a much needed brother/sister conversation where they finally come to terms with the fact that they are the only surviving members of the Stackhouse family and must depend on each other. I have been reading that many people had a problem with the scene, feeling that it almost came across as incestuous. I am not sure if it actually crossed those lines but I can see that they are both attractive and having an intimate conversation while crying and
hugging in bed can be taken oddly.

In Season 1 I was a huge Bill/Sookie fan. It almost saddens me to say that Bill has become mundane and boring this Season. The same tune of saving Sookie is just getting old and ironically Bill actually looks older. Can we get some bronzer on him or something! In my quest to find out why Bill seems to have fallen by the way side this Season, I read that the writers actually want Bill to appear meek so Eric will come across more powerful. Someone should get a raise! Great job!

The scene that resonated the most with me was Godricks decision to die. It is almost hard for me to explain why it affected me so much when his character was only in a few episodes. You could almost feel Godricks peace with the decision he made. He was the oldest vampire in years and you sometimes forgot that since his appearance was so young. His wisdom far exceeded the age that he appeared to be. As a short lived character on the series, he made not only an obvious impact in Eric's life but with Sookie too, as she now feels the connection with Godrick via Eric's emotions. It pained me to see the vulnerable side of Eric and amazed me that in one episode we could see so many different sides to this mean, sexy, vicious, hurting, sad, lonely, twisted Vampire.

Here is a sneak peak at next weeks episode of True Blood:

And the word of the day is...

I am dumbstruck when I find out how many people are reading my blog. I always see the same number of followers so I assume it's the same group of people I pay off to read my..um I mean loyal followers.. reading what I have to say. Little did I know that tons of people are reading and haven't bothered to sign up. Well sign up for my blog will ya! I love the emails I get saying my blog rocks but if I think no one is reading I feel less inclined to write. I am also looking for suggestions on what shows I must watch as others are entering their final episodes for the Summer season.

I tend to watch the same shows every week so it is sometimes hard to come up with a new way of saying how fantastic an episode was. If a television show reeked I wonder if it is even worth putting my fingers to the key board. I have thoroughly expanded my vocabulary with the help of my thesaurus, I mean my vast knowledge of verbiage. I may even buy one of those calendars with a word of the day on it and see if I can can incorporate the daily word into my blogging. It would be really interesting see how I can get the word candelabra or kazoo into my Entourage blog. Anything to spice things up ya know.

When all else fails and there is nothing worthy to write about, posting a picture of television hotties seem to do the trick. For the record, why I chose candelabra or kazoo as my examples, I have no idea. The word elephant also came to mind. If anyone interprets dreams, visions, images..feel free to decipher how my mind works.

Yeah..So Um..

As a writer it is important to have a vast vocabulary. Then again, sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. For now, let's just soak this in and later, an actual blog with words on the latest episode of True Blood will be written.

Bedroom Eyes

I thought I would post this gorgeous picture of Chris Pine my favorite Captain Kirk. He has the most piercing blue eyes I have ever seen and the perfect jaw. Swoon!

Limit Your Exposure

My favorite boss is back in the office and I couldn't be more excited. There is something about Don Draper in a power suit, taking a drag from his cig while knocking back a scotch that gets my motor running.

The irony being that his two timing ways is something I would never condone in real life yet on the screen it couldn't get much hotter.

This show makes everything about the 60's look sexy. I only wish I was alive back then to appreciate the real deal. If you had a bad day at the office you just pull out some scotch and take a gulp. Then again if this was the 60's I wouldn't have an office because I'd be knocked up and pregnant with kids running around my feet.

I was hoping Betty's pregnancy would tame Dons' wandering eye but that doesn't seem to be the case. In the presence of his family you can see he is trying to be a "family man" but as soon as he is on his own, Don beds a stewardess he meets on an airplane.

When a fire breaks out in the hotel Sal and Don are staying in, Sal is caught with his pants down literally, with a man! Shocking for the time period no doubt and even more so for Don who sees Sal in this predicament. Don's warning to Sal, by way of a new piece of ad copy, to "limit your exposure," carry's the scene and the entire episode.

I can't wait to see what is in store for Sterling Cooper and Don and Betty as the new baby is on the way.

Fun at the wake

You know when you watch the Bachelor/ette and they claim every episode will be the most shocking rose ceremony yet. Well I think Big Brother should have trademarked part of that statement because in the last 11 years I think I finally witnessed the most shocking Big Brother episode to date.

As Jeff was given the opportunity to use his secret power of Coup d' tat the BB producers crapped out and decided to pre-record the scene in the event that Chima went crazy on live television. Jeff rose to his own melody of ooooahhhhh as he was allowed to reveal he had the secret power. Jordan's jaw dropped, Jesse prepared for his demise and Russel looked completely blissful as it was announced Lydia and he would be taken off the block and replaced with not only Natalie but Jesse too!

I could hear the collective shouts of my family each in our respective apartments rooting Jeff on as he single handily turned the game upside down. One by one the house voted and out Jesse went for the second time. Good riddance is all I have to say! Chaos erupted in the house as Michele won the next HOH competition and the reality of losing Jesse set in.

Natalie, Chima and Lydia held what can only be described as Jesse's wake because you would think he was killed by a mack truck instead of kicked out of the house the way they bawled their eyes out and toasted to his memory. In the infamous word of Jeff - the guy didn't turn water into wine, it's a game people!

Lydia has to be the most ungrateful witch in all of the world because she cried like a baby now that Jesse is gone instead of thanking Jeff for saving her from the block. It was obvious that as the episode ended a shit storm was on the horizon and to my shock I woke up Sunday morning to find out that Chima had gone ballistic and was kicked out of the house over night. Tonight's episode should give us some answers as to what will happen in the game now that Chima is gone in what should have been a double eviction week.

Jordan and Jeff's show-mance is still going strong and in an adorable and silly moment Jeff nonchalantly proposes to Jordan leading Jordan to state that when they get outta there she wants a square diamond, me too hun me too, but for the record it's called a princess cut.

Entenmanns...at the end of the aisle..

Who says you need to get fancy when marrying a Mexican drug lord? When it's true love, an Entenmanns cake, 3 of your only friends and the son who just got shot on your behalf will do just fine. My favorite part was Nancy's white shirt with bedazzley pink flowers all over it. Classy-like.

I am all for lo key weddings but why is Nancy marrying this guy!? Her son just got shot because of her association with him! I think it is time to pack up the family and run! It is nice to see Silas finally manning up and saying what needs to be said but it doesn't look like Nancy is listening.

Then you have Shane, who as messed up as he is and as bad as it sounds, I am loving! This kid is obviously on the wrong path, spewing on about how he doesn't want pain killers because he was enjoying focusing on one thing, the pain in his arm. I kind of know what he means if that doesn't sound totally scary. When your life is constantly in chaos it is a good change of pace to be forced to focus on only one thing, calming even. I can't imagine Shane is not going to become a twisted kid after all he has seen in his short years, in fact as he floats in the pool shouting at the servants for more beer I am laughing my butt off yet cringing at the same time.

Biting Back

Who needs a wooden stake or a piece of silver to take down a Vampire Maker when a handy dandy plasma screen will do the trick just fine.

Are you hungry? Maybe some shepherds pie for dinner? How about a little human heart and veggies thrown in there too. Lot's of protein. Yummy, Yummy.

What can I say, this insanity I just described, well that is True Blood. I am learning it is best for me to just leave all sense and reason at the door when watching this show because anything can and will happen.

We have Vampires, Shape Shifters, Humans trying to burn Vampires alive - hahaha, they ain't alive, duh, but you know what I mean. And just when I thought it couldn't get any crazier, as if the heart scene wasn't enough to make you sick, the new Vampire learns she will always be a Virgin because "we always heal." I think that surprised me more then Godrick's turn for the good. So she will be in pain everytime she has sex? Wow..that really sucks.. Can this poor Vampire girl ever catch a break?

The showdown between Vampire and Humans finally went down and it truly was a family affair as Jason, Sookie, Bill, Eric, Godrick and the people of the Holy Light got down to business. It was awesome to see all these great characters in one room. In possibly one of the greatest lines to be said on television, Jason proclaims: "I reckon I've already been to heaven - inside your wife." OMG... Best. Line. Ever.

Not to go unnoticed was how HOT Eric looks and it seems he gets taller in every episode. Either he is a giant in real life or the rest of the cast are played by small children. Speaking of small children, I would like to retract my previous statement that the actor playing Godrick was hot. Um, he looks about 12 years old and well, I just can't go down that road. Team Eric all the way. Even Eric makes Bill look like a pansy and Bill just cracked a thousand year old Vampire over the head with an LCD screen.

You may read my True Blood blogs and sometimes get the impression that I don't like the show. I sure do knock it a lot but it is not because the show is not something I love. I question everything because True Blood is unlike any other show I have seen. I am intrigued yet bewildered at times. Obviously this Vampire world is completely fictitious so it amazes me that writers can conjure up such story lines. As wild and far fetched as it may be, thousands of viewers keep biting back for more, myself included.

Your power don't mean shi...

Congrats to Jeff on winning the power of Coup de tat. I voted about 100 times so being that I had a few days off of work I am glad I spent my time wisely. HaHa.

It is time to stir up the house guests and get some of these idiots outta here! Little does Chima know her HOH title doesn't mean squat because Jeff can turn it all on a dime. If I have to listen to Chima or Natalie's mouth one more time...well..I don't know what I will do. It's not like I am shutting the TV off, I haven't missed an episode in 11 Seasons, these bitches won't stop me now. I can not take these two anymore, next year I am voting for an all male household.

P.S.
I don't know where a spider gets its web from either but yes, the web is quite symmetrical.. hahaha

I just want my life back!

You can't have the girl and the job. Words to live by in the Burn Notice Summer Finale. In a world where we want it all and sometimes all just isn't an option, we often have to choose between career, family, money and friends.

Michael Westin has stood by his mantra of doing anything for the job he has lost but in this weeks episode that was put to the test when he had to choose between saving Fiona's life and finally getting his old job back. In a moment of clarity for Michael, he smoothly states "Fiona is NOT my past!" Bang.. Bang.. He takes down the bad guy who is holding his woman and saves the day. Even though they are both the first to admit " we aren't good at this" it is clear the job is no longer Michael's only priority and I think the situation hitting rock bottom finally showed him that there is more to life than a job.

It is always hard for me when a show goes on hiatus for a period of time. I understand that we can not have everything, after all isn't that the theme of this episode, yet saying goodbye to Michael Westin and the gang for even a short time, leaves me with a void. I will miss the weekly hour of non stop laughs, thrills and excitement. I am left to watch trivial B list television until a quality show such as this returns. For now I will not say goodbye to this show, but see you later. In the Winter months, when I am tucked in my bed watching some Michael Westin to keep me warm, I know I will be happy, but for now I will settle for reruns my dear friend.

True Blood = True Love

Real life couple and co-stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are engaged to be married. In recent interviews the couple looked completely smitten with each other :) Congrats to the happy couple!

Different Strokes for Different Folks

As promised I caught the first episode of the new reality show Giuiliana and Bill. A look inside the lives of the E! host and Apprentice winner as they settle into married life and let the cameras have a first hand look at what goes on in their day to day life. To my surprise they have a very unconventional relationship. Even thought they are married, they continue to have a long distance relationship. Bill, living in Chicago and Giuiliana living in L.A. Both of them refusing to give up their careers and make the move yet still in love enough to take on the commitment of marriage long distance.

A crazy plan that will either slide into divorce or a stroke of genius that will allow them time to miss each other and truly appreciate the time they have when they are together. It is yet to be seen which road this couple will lead down.

They seem to have that sarcastic yet loving banter that many couples throw around. To be honest, I was surprised at how snobbish Guliana seemed espeically when Bill seems very laid back and down to earth, but perhaps in this case they balance each other out.

I read an interview and they each mentioned that when they got to view their first episode they were not happy with how their relationship was portrayed. It actually made them take a step back and reflect on the way they reacted to a specific situation and actually felt it was almost like therapy, each vowing to be more conscious of how they act towards one another.

The show was quite entertaining as you watch them jet back and forth to be together, sleep in twin beds at Bill's mothers house while their own home in Chicago is being built and when you finally see the home they will one day have children grow up in, I was in awe of how stunning it all turned out. I look forward to catching next weeks episode and see where this new show takes us.

Should I Laugh or Cry?

When watching Nurse Jackie I try to keep in mind that it is meant to be a dark show - something that you can not take too seriously yet I can't help but reflect on what Jackie is thinking.

In the latest episode, Jackie forgets to remove her wedding ring at work and it gets stuck on her finger. In a moment of desperation she has her friend cut the ring off. So her husband won't question why her ring is damaged she actually takes a hammer and bashes her own finger in. Geez! Talk about going to any length to hide your secrets. In between all of this personal mayhem she manages to do lines of coke, save a few lives, lose a few and mail some letters that a deceased patient intended to send out. In that moment of kindness for a stranger you can't help but wonder, what is Jackie thinking? In between all the bad things she does: drugs, infidelity, lying, cheating, doing whatever she thinks will justify an end to her means, then she stops and mails letters for a stranger. Why? The person is dead, what does it matter? But to Jackie it mattered. She is playing by her own rules of right and wrong and I have obviously not seen her play book.

Do we all have our own rules and we choose what is good and what is bad and if other people don't agree with them, tough shit?I can't help but think that a lot of people do this in some way. We change our opinion on a situation when we find ourselves in it.

Some vow that they would never cheat on their significant other but if they are single and sleep with a married person, well then who cares, after all you aren't doing the actual cheating. So you fudge your taxes a bit, the government steals money from people all the time. People preach that they would never have a threesome, or an abortion, or drink and drive and then when they are faced with that very exact thing they go and do the opposite. Maybe the temptation was there, or the condom broke, and it was just one drink so you figured you were sober enough to drive. No matter what until you are faced with that very situation you never know what you would really do and what our own personal justification is for doing so.

To be honest I feel like this blog is very rambly, I am not even sure for the first time if I am even making sense, but I can really appreciate a show such as Nurse Jackie that is just so out there and so very wrong, that it makes you stop and think if anyone is really out there doing something right.

Weedisms

So many life lessons on Weeds this week. 1) If you have a baby you probably won't sleep for the next 18 years, so enjoy those afternoon naps now. 2) If you are hanging around any major political figure you better be packing a bullet proof vest 3) If your breasts are full engorged with milk then I hope you can find a guy willing to release the tension and sample some of that sweetness.

Justin Kirk who plays Andy should be winning massive awards not only for the crazy stuff that comes out of his mouth but for the things he is forced to do with that mouth. In a hysterical moment where he "aides" Nancy in releasing her breast milk he has the choice of spitting or swallowing and claiming that he isn't a hypocrite he takes the plunge. What could he have been thinking when he read this script? I can barely keep a straight face myself just watching the hilarity of the scene. Did I mention I recommend doubling up on birth control here on out for anyone reading this?

In the typical Estaban/Nancy fashion he claims he is ready to marry her yet again. Have we not been down this road before? He loves me..He loves me not..He loves me?..
I really don't know if either of them can even define the word. After all Andy has done for Nancy I will be livid if she takes Esteban back. I can only hope this is some master plan that she has concoted to take control of his empire.

Celia has suddenly become a pot wielding maven and is selling pot with her cosmetics. Pretty ingenius if you ask me! I am curious though what will happen when she runs out of the pot that she has stolen from Silas. I am hoping Silas will finally catch a break and maybe team up with her. He had such promise and I really feel like they are not utilizing his "assets" at all this season.

Boss me around anytime..

It is obvious I have read way too many trashy romance novels when I reveal the following statement: Those books where the Secretary inevitably has the affair with the boss... Well, Don Draper is the epitome of the boss that would lavish such thoughts.

If you have never seen the show Mad Men here is a clip that reveals some shocking past moments. I am really looking forward to what Season 3 and Jon Hamm as the deliciously wicked hot Don Draper will bring us when it starts on August 16.

Oh My G....

I would like to thank my friend for forwarding me this picture.
I have no blog to go with it but I really don't think words are necessary... Feel free to use your imagination!

True Blood...mmm mmmm Good

I must not listen when people tell me an episode of a show was Fantastic!, Great!, Wonderful!, Awesome!, "I didn't want it to end!". It sets my expectations so high that even if the show is beyond anything I could have imagined I still ask myself so "that was it"?

Because my friends couldn't stop raving about how awesome the latest episode of True Blood was, I expected to go home and find Bill and Eric waiting for me on my couch. Now that would have been an excellent "episode." HaHa In my dreams!

Finally we got some answers to all the questions that were building. Daphne is a skank who was using Sam the entire time, he should have popped her when he had the chance. Needless to say Eggs took care of that for him.

Maryanne is a Maenad who releases people's inhibitions and can control what they are doing unbeknownst to them. All I can say is, if you and your boyfriend can't remember what happened last night and you then find out that your friend is blacking out too, maybe it is time to question your surroundings.

If I am understanding correctly, a shape shifter can only shift into an object that is near them, they can not just fashion any creature? That would explain why Sam only turned into the owl to escape when he saw an owl.

I am very curious if and how Maryann can be killed. How did she get these types of powers? They are comparing her horns to the actual devil so that can't be a good sign.

Poor Bill is trapped by his maker and last we see him it doesn't look like he will make it out alive. Jason is gunned down by the G-d loving Lolita and I can only hope it was a stun gun and not filled with bullets.

Sookie uses her mind reading skills to get a message to Bill but it is intercepted by someone else, Eric perhaps? I am so lost as to why sometimes Sookie can hear things and other times she can't. At the beginning she couldn't stop the voices now it seems like they are rarely around.

In the final 3 seconds, Sookie is saved by Godrick?! Where did HE come from AND who the hell is doing the casting for this show?! HOLY HELL ANOTHER HOT GUY!!! Ok. Ok. Maybe the episode was freaking incredible it just had to sink in....Can not wait for the Vampire showdown next week!

Giuliana and Bill

Finally another Reality Show I can sink my teeth into. I have followed Bill Rancic since he starred on The Apprentice and have always loved Giuliana from the E! Network.

When they got together it seemed that they had a wonderful connection and I eagerly watched their wedding special on the Style Network when they got married in Capri, Italy. This special featured Italy in such light that ever since then I have had a huge desire to visit the area.

This week premiers their reality show 'Bill and Guiliana" a behind the scenes look at their relationship. Yay!

The Kate Gosselin Show

Monday night just isn't the same without the Bachelorette but at least Jon & Kate plus 8 is back. Since announcing their divorce the show has been on hiatus while Jon and Kate get their act together. This basically means Jon traveled the globe collecting slutty girlfriends while Kate watched the kids.

In the first two episodes it is evident that Jon is unnecessary to make this show entertaining. He walks around with a mopey face and I am relieved when they stop filming him saying "everything I am doing is for the children" LIAR!!!

The theme song is now filled with pictures, silence and the statement "It's a Crazy Life, but it's our Life"... At the rate this show is going by episode 5 the theme song will say "That's Life."

Kate is spending time with the kids and I am loving her new mantra of "doing things I have never done before." She is proving just how strong she is and I can't even imagine being in her shoes. With eight kids to care for, an idiot (soon to be) ex husband and being stalked by paparazzi on a daily basis, I imagine it is taking it's toll on her. You wouldn't even know she is going through all this with her killer body and cheerful demeanor. Whether she is faking it for the cameras or the kids, I give her credit for even waking up each day and putting a smile on her face.

As always, the kids are soooooo cute! As they get older they are clever and super talkative. They get to sit in the interview chair and as they hang off the couch and answer the producers questions you can't help but love their silliness. When one little boy goes swimming he starts shouting how he's shivering and then wants to show the camera how he is shaking. Out of the mouth of babes ya know.

Coup D’etat

If we needed proof that I should never partake in a Fantasy Big Brother game this would be it. If you scroll back to my comments on the Big Brother players when the show premiered you would see that Ronnie and Casey were the two who I pegged to take it all the way. I don't know what I was thinking because I hate Ronnie the most. I guess first impressions are not always what they seem to be.

On that same note, I think you will recall when I compared Russell to Lincoln from Prison Break and maybe I was kind of harsh, because now even Russel is growing on me! I will admit Jeff and Jordan are still numero uno in my book but the more we see of Russell he isn't as awful as I first thought. When he mentioned how his "pops" was sick and he really wanted a letter from him he knew exactly what heart string to tug on because I was putty in that boys hand, metaphorically speaking of course.

I was really happy Jeff and Russell struck a deal and Russell abides by it when he put Ronnie on the block. Russell also proved he was trustworthy when the letter from his Pops mentioned his recent surgery and that he was doing well. The budding romance between Jeff and Jordan is still in the background and I love how he wants to protect her in this game. I am still waiting for some kissing action between those two though.

Announced in last weeks episode the house guests are no longer playing in cliques. I am thrilled because Jesse and Natalie need to go! Lydia too, it is time to vote them off this island. Also, based on America's vote one Big Brother house guest will be granted a mystery power called the Coup D’etat.

Over the next two weeks, the winner of Coup D’etat will have the ability to overthrow the Head of Household and replace the nominations right before the August 6th or August 13th live show evictions. The winner of this power can only use it once and only the winner will know they have the power. Should I admit that that I have voted for Jeff non stop over the past few days so he can win this power and finally shake up this game!?

I heart Jeff!

A One Track Spy

Oh Mikey. What are you doing? Putting the job before your friendship with Sam and your relationship with Fi is just not a wise idea. They have both been there for you through thick and thin and can't you see that they are the only people you can really trust.

Michael Westin only has one thought on his mind and that's getting back into the spy game. Making new friends with people claiming they can get him what he craves at the expense of his friends and family is just bad, bad, bad!

The love between Fiona and Michael is obviously still there. In a scene that took my breathe away Michael slapped Fiona in the face as part of an undercover mission. You can see that the slap shocks and confuses her as tears come to her eyes. As Michael mouths how sorry he is, you can see feel the pain in his eyes. I actually get kind of upset just thinking about it.

The intense chemistry between Michael and Fi is a huge reason to watch this show. Many shows lose it's edge once the couples get their "happy ending" but at this point I'd settle for some sack time between Fi and Michael. I think they both have a lot of pent up energy to get rid of. We haven't seen more then a kiss since Season 1!