Should I Laugh or Cry?

When watching Nurse Jackie I try to keep in mind that it is meant to be a dark show - something that you can not take too seriously yet I can't help but reflect on what Jackie is thinking.

In the latest episode, Jackie forgets to remove her wedding ring at work and it gets stuck on her finger. In a moment of desperation she has her friend cut the ring off. So her husband won't question why her ring is damaged she actually takes a hammer and bashes her own finger in. Geez! Talk about going to any length to hide your secrets. In between all of this personal mayhem she manages to do lines of coke, save a few lives, lose a few and mail some letters that a deceased patient intended to send out. In that moment of kindness for a stranger you can't help but wonder, what is Jackie thinking? In between all the bad things she does: drugs, infidelity, lying, cheating, doing whatever she thinks will justify an end to her means, then she stops and mails letters for a stranger. Why? The person is dead, what does it matter? But to Jackie it mattered. She is playing by her own rules of right and wrong and I have obviously not seen her play book.

Do we all have our own rules and we choose what is good and what is bad and if other people don't agree with them, tough shit?I can't help but think that a lot of people do this in some way. We change our opinion on a situation when we find ourselves in it.

Some vow that they would never cheat on their significant other but if they are single and sleep with a married person, well then who cares, after all you aren't doing the actual cheating. So you fudge your taxes a bit, the government steals money from people all the time. People preach that they would never have a threesome, or an abortion, or drink and drive and then when they are faced with that very exact thing they go and do the opposite. Maybe the temptation was there, or the condom broke, and it was just one drink so you figured you were sober enough to drive. No matter what until you are faced with that very situation you never know what you would really do and what our own personal justification is for doing so.

To be honest I feel like this blog is very rambly, I am not even sure for the first time if I am even making sense, but I can really appreciate a show such as Nurse Jackie that is just so out there and so very wrong, that it makes you stop and think if anyone is really out there doing something right.